A post about triathlon?

When  it comes to bikes I am intolerant of many things. High on that list is triathletes considering themselves to be cyclists. Sure, about 95% of them are faster than me, but the point of cycling in a Super-Relax lifestyle is about just that: S-T-Y-L-E. 

I'm all for triathlon's place in the world. Without it we'd have hordes of aerobically obsessed Germans and Brazilians stalking the earth in search of competition. And how else would middle-aged, middle managers challenge themselves? But the thing about triathletes is that they are always runners and/or swimmers first in their lives. They ride bikes because they have to and they show little respect to the culture of one of the most elegantly designed machines ever. They torture bikes, (and me), with all sorts of add-ons and freakish designs. I respect the hell out of what they accomplish and I'll be the first to admit that the annual Ironman coverage on NBC makes me cry. But it seems foolish to me to bookend the beauty of cycling with the horror of competitive swimming and the agony of running in equal terms.

This morning I awoke at 6:30 AM with Mrs. The CD to prepare our oldest son, Rod, for his first triathlon. It was the 7th annual Hayhurst Kid's Triathlon in Beaverton and it would include a 50 meter swim, a 2 mile bike ride, and a 1/2 mile run. You gotta love that kid because he was so excited. He's spent the entire week eating right and getting his plan in place. The morning came and he was up and on schedule.

The folks at the rec center put on a really nice event and the atmosphere was pretty cool. (With the exception of one ultra-competitive dad that I sadly must admit I recognize from a local cycling team. Thanks for wearing your team cap, by the way.) Everything started on time and the kids never were left to wonder about what to do out there. It was a great experience for us all and I'm proud to say that my little buddy made me proud competing in, and completing with a flourish, his first significant athletic event.

And while all this was going on, my youngest son, Stewart, was making a very powerful political statement. In this picture you can see that he is clearly showing his support for the fine people of Eldorado, Texas. Seriously, The Love Post, look it up.

Least Favorite #1

It's quite often that I'm reminded by my friends that I have a "negative"outlook on life. You see, I keep Least Favorite lists but I see that as more of a positive outlook than a negative one. The way I figure it, I know exactly what few things I don't like and that leaves me focused and directed on the many things I do.

Take, for example, music. How many times are you asked what your favorite band is? I can't pick just one. I don't want to pick just one. But I can tell you with absolute certainty what my least favorite band is. In fact, here's the top three:

1) Collective Soul

2) Dire Straits

3) Supertramp

You really wanna argue with me on #'s 2 and 3? Go ahead, but my mind's made up. If you make a case for #1 on the list, pack up your shit and get out of my life. 

I have some very clear opinions on things and I figure this is where you're supposed to share them. So here we go, in no particular order, with a regular feature of this here weblog. It'll mostly be about bikes but I'd imagine a few mainstream things will creep in here or there.

The Butt Drape (aka The Ass Curtain)

No one should be allowed to tie a jacket around their waist while exercising. Make a damn decision before you go to be either too hot or too cold. Just today I happened upon a guy out for a ride, (although I'm certain he would call it "biking"). He was a complete knob as was evidenced by the windshell he had cinched around his waist and tucked under his ass on the saddle. It's among the most unsightly of all cycling clothing transgressions and certainly among the most stupid. I really cannot stand this look and I wonder why people are willing to sit at length on a shifting fabric calzone. Most likely they get home and complain about "how hard biking is". Good, I hope you quit until some sense finds its way into your life.

Women are, by far, the most common violators but it's the men who do this that really set me off. I'm not sure why but it really pisses me off. And I wish people would stop.

PRO

I'm having an awfully good time riding bikes in the rain. Never thought I would make it to this point but four years into Portland now and I'm coming to the realization that you dig it or you get the hell out. And I'm not ready to leave. Not even close. Not when I have another autumn of HUP ass-kicking to look forward to. 

Is it me kicking their ass or them kicking mine?

Stay tuned. For now, this is all you need to know about CD:

Look good. Be nice. Keep Dreamin'.

Mountain Bike Short Track begins in 4 weeks. And I have a plan. A Super Relax plan.